Dot 5

It’s dot 5 and my work is done

It doesn’t end this early most days

I shut my laptop, take a round around

I come back and stand at the edge of my door

And I think to myself did I lead myself here

Is it on me for the atrocities I see

And the lack of sounds

And the hollowness within me

Am I to blame

I believe

I hadn’t heard birds so loud in a while

The noise children make when they play in the streets

I’m trying to focus on every sound there is

I hear everything just my own heartbeat

It was around this year when Jan stopped hurting

Now here is March, marching me to my grave

I walk bare and wave white

They tell me I am brave

Am I brave

I believe

There is soon going to be a new girl

With pearls around her neck

And glitter in her eyes

And you’d look at her with love like

You used to look at me

And you’ll tell her she’s the most beautiful

Thing you’ve ever seen and she’ll believe you

Will I wonder if you’re lying or will

I believe