Monthly Archives: June 2020

Its Intentional

I know about all the times,

you feel insecure when you see me laugh and hop around someone else.

sometimes I would except that its intentional,

I like to see you being dominant and aggressive.

I know about all the times,

You feel like punching the wall when I tell you am tired and sleepy.

Sometimes I would except that its intentional,

I like reading the long paragraphs you write me the next morning.

I know about all the times,

You are burning when I talk about someone else and praise them.

Sometimes I would say that its intentional,

I like it when you curse them in your mind.

I know about all the times,

You are so lost in my voice when I talk like a child.

Sometimes I would say that its intentional,

I like it when you are obsessed with me.

I know about all the times,

You are hurting because you said something you didn’t mean and I am annoyed.

Sometimes I would say that its intentional,

I like to see how far you’d go for me.

And I know about all the times,

My words give you a twist down your spine.

Sometimes, I would say that its intentional,

I like to make you feel special.

-by Tanya Rana

The Heart Still Beats

Slow and stable

Turns to fast and chaotic

Yes, the heart still beats.

Seems like just yesterday,

New adolescents

Devilish, innocence-less minds,

We held each other.

We knew nothing of love,

Not at all like we boasted

All we knew was that it felt good,

To be known, to be noticed.

That wasn’t love,

But so, we called it

Now I look back,

And laugh at myself.

Time gradually tore us apart,

From fake lovers to dumb friends

Friends, we called it,

Though, there was more to it.

Its strange how you need something,

Only when it’s gone

And it’s stupid how you can kill for it,

Even when it’s wrong.

We came together once again,

Scared to give it a name this time

Never letting an outsider in,

Blocking all the air away.

Eventually, we wanted more,

More than we gave away

So, we started looking for attention,

Outside our little bubble.

We cursed, we were hurt,

But god, we were devilish

Our power was the pain,

We put each other through.

And at the beginning of the end,

We started realizing

Time has at last taken its toll

Down and down, from the great heights we roll.

It’s just been barely a month,

Since we decided to walk away

And I have never felt more peaceful

In the process of losing something.

From fast and chaotic,

Its slow and stable again

And yes, the heart still beats!

-by Tanya Rana

This Too Shall Pass

I know this world hasn’t been kind to you lately,

And its struggle to keep moving on;

And I know you are gradually falling apart,

You feel helpless and the hope is long gone.

But in these trying times if you dare give up,

If you accept the failure and let others decide

They’ll talk about what life has brought to you,

And what all further it might.

But you got to keep your head high,

As if you are no less than the mighty;

And yet again your sun will rise,

With all the grace and so brightly.

I understand how they try to pull you down,

Just because they aren’t willing to climb up;

But you got to trust that grip and carry on,

As if you see nothing but the top.

This is paradise and hell, we call it life,

And ups and downs are its long-lost lovers;

But you somehow got to set the bars high,

Until you get the fruits for which you suffered.

Because you have climbed the highest mountains,

And on their top, you have danced;

So always believe in your instinct and remember,

Easy or hard, this too shall pass!

-by Tanya Rana

Life Boat

Things are getting somehow harder each day,

Everyday seems to have a lesson of its own;

I guess its people and their tantrums and their tortures,

Barely can find a reason to keep moving on.

Life has come to a sudden standstill,

Where you don’t feel like waking up;

The reasons to live are falling by a great number,

Doesn’t matter half full or empty, it’s just a cup!

Don’t know if this is the reality,

Or a dream I’m trying to wake up from;

All I know is it feels like drowning,

Except there’s no water and nothing feels like home.

Just laying here trying to count my breath,

Hoping the next one would be the last;

But when I take another it’s almost disappointing,

Why is the world suddenly moving so fast?

I look at the ceiling and it seems to be moving,

I look at the floor slipping beneath my feet;

Even these words don’t seem to be making any sense,

As if life has taken a back seat.

“You need to get help”, say some of them,

“Try distracting yourself”, say some others;

But they barely seem to have an idea of what’s happening,

And I don’t seem to have the energy to explain farther.

Somedays during attempts of trying to cheer myself,

I end up bursting in tears;

Sometimes its about not giving up,

Others days it’s the loved ones, I fear.

But this all is really getting on my nerves now,

Almost losing the zeal to survive;

Wish there was a way to end this somehow,

Either this feeling or this life…

– by Tanya Rana