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Normal Day

The sun shines
the dog whines
its such a normal day
her soul cries
her fake smiles
she is out of words to say.

the sun grows
the milkman shows
his shoes as always crusty
her heart sinks
she barely blinks
her body is turning dusty.

the Dog barks
tv talks of sharks
the day is on a still
her room dark
her shadow stark
she again forgot her pills.

the friends call
lets hangout at the mall
what! again you cannot come?
her eyes fall
her heart taking it all
she again feels so dumb.

the mother cooks food
everyone says it’s good
the family looks at her
her face is rude
her forever low mood
she makes the vibe go blur.

the night falls
the lover calls
he doesnt show affection anymore
her ashened walls
her fear crawls
she has no bruises but is sore.

the lights blips
the mind trips
the sea knows no shore
her voice dips
her heartbeat skips
she doesnt breathe anymore.

the sun shines again
the dog whines again
its such a normal day
her body dies
her invisible knives
she makes the people pray.

The Perfect Suicide Note

I don’t believe in god
This is what I tell everyone
And even myself
Because I really never feel
That anyone is ever looking after me.
No one is pushing me to do better
Or maybe everyone is
But no one knows how I’m dying
Dying without a reason
Like a soldier who agreed to protect his land
But at what cost?
What are we getting out of this?
This chaos and trouble
These new found tragedies
Someone loving football lose their legs
Others were depressed and their dogs died
And then there are some who have everything
Everything except peace of mind.
We blame it on people for suiciding
And doing drugs is a sin
But how are we so sure its them
Doing that to themselves, and not us?
Why isn’t it ever considered that maybe
Just maybe
The problem is with us?
How far to the edge die we push a person
That they chose death over life
That they chose to rather destroy their body with poisons
Over finding out a solution.
What if there is no solution?
What if all we are is a negligible bunch of atoms
Dreaming way to big?
I mean, there is always a possibility.
Lately, even I feel suicidal
But something stops me
Not the fact that it isn’t the right thing to do
But there is a voice that says
“What will people think?”
I think this mentality is destructive
Its messing with your ability to think
You must be thinking how scared to the bones
A person must be
That they are afraid of death
Not because death is deadly
But because they are under a pressure
A pressure of being judged.
A pressure that is so unsustainable
That it doesn’t let you live
And doesn’t let you die
It hangs you to a cliff
With the strongest rope we call hope.
It’s a sin to be alive
But you are a sinner if you die.

Dear Old Friend

We were 14, bare teenagers

Newly hit puberty, doing each other favors.

You were the smart and silent kid,

I was the bold and dreamy

You were definitely better in academics

But I was the one more gleamy.

You sat in front of me, that’s how I remember you

I never thought we would take it that far

You tried getting my number as if there was nothing you wouldn’t do

But I was still to cover some of my scars.

We became friends after the big blunder you did

I bet you remember texting my mother

Would you believe she still calls you, “that smart kid”?

Trust me, she doesn’t really remember many others.

That went silent, but one fine day

I would say all I was doing was testing my luck

But you replied to my text, it was early may

My summer instantly had more flowers to pluck.

We talked and talked, like that was all we knew

Day to night, all I cared about was you

From broad daylights to the misty dews

Never had many, but you were definitely in those few.

We were innocent in the beginning

Trying to put the best foot forward

Until there was time, to your texts, I was grinning

I was a good kid then, and you were my award.

Time went by, and the innocence did too,

I swear if you say that wasn’t love you’d be lying

We used to talk of a forever, we were fools

Coz if that came true, right now I wouldn’t be dying.

Oh dear! We grew up to become different people

I accept I was not the girl you wanted me to be

Our graph started going down like a steep hill

But it took us way too long to see.

I remember you getting mad when it wasn’t you

I remember myself being jealous

Yes, I know I was a little distracted by a few

But I swear when it came to you, I was selfless.

That thing escalated so high that our unsaid love felt short

Each day brought another brick down

We both were nothing less than some wild  sport

Don’t know how we ended up in a circus dressed as clowns.

By 16, your priorities were sorted

And unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be me

It took me time to understand, I was distorted

Until I knew you set yourself free.

We still talked, but not like the golden days

The conversations were short, work and the weather

We slowly started to separate our ways

As to your hat, I was no longer the only feather.

This thing went on falling from great heights

I wasn’t ready, but I knew it was time

You were no longer the one in my sight

Losing you felt nothing less than a crime.

And this is how our story unfolds

I wanted to keep it for myself

But I read somewhere, the truth better be told

I believe this is how the word ‘lost’ spells.

And if today, you are reading these lines

I bet you know these are for you

After all this is not our first time

And I know, you know that too.

Don’t Need You

It’s been a month since you left me,

And I won’t lie, it hurts

Honestly, I had no Idea your absence

Will haunt me so much.

Oh dear, but let me tell you,

I still don’t regret my decision

It’s just the fact that

I thought our love was pure precision.

Do you remember our midnight walks?

Parallel to the sea breeze

I remember the words you said

Came out of your mouth with such ease.

And no doubt I believed them

You were such a pretty liar

You were all a girl could ask for

Until you set her world on fire.

All my life you made me

Think small of myself

You took my confidence away

framing the perfect girl your mind dwelled.

But I cannot disagree

 It was me, the real fool

Worshipped every word you said

It was my life, but I let you rule.

I don’t remember what I saw in you

You were barely half the man as me

 Every day I needed your reassurance

How foolish can one be!

But oh, my dear

Not only was I wrong

But now I realize

I was the goddess all along.

Your last words, still

Echo in my head

I recall, “you need me”

Is exactly what you said.

But my prince of the shallow seas

You think too high of yourself

Maybe that’s the reason

You put me on the bottom shelf.

And of course, I couldn’t take it

what else could I have done?

even your mother despised you

but honey, weren’t you the only son?

So today, my long-lost lover

let me say a thing or two

I wanted you in my life

 but I promise I didn’t need you!

Met You At Starbucks

I met you at Starbucks today,

You agreed for a coffee;

Of course, I was on cloud nine,

It was nothing less than a trophy.

Tall sleek body, those same muscular arms

Black t-shirt with stripes and your forever charm;

You entered, eyes searching for my face,

My heart has already started beating at a higher pace.

A small smile, the distant one, as you come and sit across me,

I willingly chose the window seat, with the sight of the trees;

“Oh, hello stranger, long time no see”,

My heart already feels settled to its knees.

We started with a light chat, where abouts and the weather,

Your eyes shine in a way, as if you’ve been tethered;

You order for yourself, and surprisingly for me too,

Its strange you remember my choices, after everything we’ve been through.

“You look nice”, you say without looking at me,

“You look fantastic”, I finally set my words free;

The last time we were here, I broke you into tears,

The last time we were here, I faced my greatest fears.

But today you look good, you look better than ever,

I thought I was wrong that you would long for me forever;

Then my eyes shift to your hand, my sight lingers,

My heart almost fell out of my mouth, when I saw that ring in your finger.

My reflex was so sudden, I bet you noticed it,

Of course, you pull your hand away, so I don’t have to see it;

Suddenly I don’t hear a word, but the chatter is louder than ever,

I still held control of myself, trying to be clever.

You talk about a lot of things, but you know I am not listening,

Somehow, I am blind by the way you plate and forks are glistening;

I came here with a hope to change some things,

Who knew you came here to push me to the brink.

I agree I hurt you, the day I left for foreign lands,

I agree it was hell at the airport, when I dropped your hand;

And I know the distance took its toll on us,

But what about our promises to be together from dawn till dusk.

By the time I am done dying inside, I realize you’ve been quiet,

I knew it was my turn to make everything right;

So, I made up a random story of a fake love affair,

I noticed how your intended smile dissolved into the air.

You hear me, I tear you, without even touching,

Your hand holds the back of the chair, you need something for clutching;

I kept talking, making up a false happy duet

Obviously, I could do that, Afterall I was a poet.

You watch me with utter disbelief in your eyes,

But you knew I could do that, sound truthful with my lies;

I stop talking as you slip your hand to the napkin,

My world is spinning around, what the hell is happening.

You make a gesture for me to continue,

I had nothing to say, I know, you knew;

We get up from our seats together, making our way out,

My chest feels so heavy, my body wants to shout.

We get outside and I ask you if you want to come home with me,

You say you have someone to catch up, will come when you’ll be free;

And I don’t know why the word ‘someone’ was a punch in the gut,

But I could do nothing except walk away like a strut.

We say our last goodbyes, and out of nowhere you hug me,

This time when you were close, I could very clearly see;

You wanted me as much, but you accepted your fate,

That look in your eyes made me realize, it was too late!