Tanya Rana

Delilah

24^th august, Delilah was born

Jolly bells and cute as hell’s

5^th April, Delilah was torn

She was depressed, even the dumbest could tell.

Delilah is a growing kid

She is turning 8 next month

She puts her old toys in a box to get rid

Her dad brings her more books, another ton

Delilah was expecting some appreciation for the sacrifice she made

But daddy was too busy explaining her the importance of books.

Delilah took the pressure and drank in a slurp

Now she is about to be a teen

Her daddy tells her now her life would take a turn

But Delilah was prepared, she has always been.

Delilah was expecting some support for her new found identity

But daddy was too busy explaining her what not to do.

Its Delilah’s first state level cricket match

She is almost 17 and the captain of her team

She was so hung up on proving herself that she misses a catch

Her heart rate dropped for a second, it seems

Delilah was expecting a shoulder to cry on

But daddy was too busy telling her where she went wrong.

Delilah turned 21 yesterday, making coffee, studying late night

She had to clear the exam daddy so desperately wanted her to

Delilah was not so confident though, but she knew she might

She was feeling sick, thought skipping was the best thing to do

Delilah was expecting daddy to forgive her one mistake

But daddy was too busy growling how she lost her future.

Delilah had been missing for the past 5 days

Her coach called her home to make sure she was fine

She hung herself in a dark unlit room, the newspaper says

On the wall she left a note saying, “Daddy, oh divine!”

Delilah was expecting daddy to shed a tear for his daughter

He sure did, but not until he lost her.

I Would Have Sung More

I was driving home in my dusty blue chevy

And even though I had no reason, my heart felt heavy

Headlights cutting through the loneliest road

How majestically the woods on each side glowed

I was passing by the courtney park

I don’t know why I stopped the car

I got down the car, leaving the keys behind

Smelling the wet grass, avoiding what it reminds

I walked in, spotting a not so wet seat

Took off my shoes touching the grass with my feet

I put my pounding head in my hands

No more I was stressed about my errands

I was just about to let my memories take control

When I realised I wasn’t the only soul

In the park across me, sat you

Sobbing silently on the grass covered with dew

I stealthy slipped beside without alerting you

I try to lighten the mood saying, “Whom should we sue?”

And I guess I succeeded because Holy Christ

“Please don’t ask to take me home, I beg”, you said

This kid had the world’s most beautiful smile

“Would be the last thing I’d say before I drop dead”

You looked at me with watery eyes

You sat there alone with the water bottle and a dice

“Tell me what wrong did this world do to such a pretty girl?”

“If people are a seashell, you must be a pearl”

“My mum said she hates me, that all I do is whine,

that I eat like a pig and have the IQ of a kid who is nine.”

I almost protested but then my eyes went to your arm

For a kid who looked fourteen, that was too much harm

“Did she do this to you?”, I pointed with my finger

“Yes. This was because I said, I’d grow up to be a singer”

“Sing something for me. Show me what you got”

She gave it a second and started singing on the spot

And curse me if I lie, but the girl was a Nightingale

I was not into fiction but this surely was a fairytale

“What a shame, old lady doesn’t want you to sing!

What a waste of talent to take away such a beautiful thing!”

“Thank you. Nobody ever said that to me before,

Only if she’d let me listen further, I would have sung more.”

“You know, growing up I didn’t have the best parents either

And somehow when you talk about your mother, I see her.

My mother never even let me make friends

Maybe she was jealous, or afraid she’d lose her helping hands.”

“But now that I think of her, I guess I know what she wanted

For people to love her, to stop being haunted.

By the mean people around, by the ghosts of her past

Maybe if I gave it to her, forty-two wouldn’t be her last.”

“You mean, I should tell her I love her and she’ll be okay?

To finally live happily with no more games to play?”

“Exactly! Who knows she might even hug you

And tell you with watery eyes, that she loves you too!”

“You are right! I’ll give it a try.

Maybe one last day for both of us to cry.”

“Go ahead. And here, take my number just in case

Everything goes fine and you want to invite me for some cake.”

She picks up her stuff, smiles and leaves without turning

I felt a relief with my insides burning

Until I get a call at 4:30 in the morning

You shout, “Help me! Please!” and dropped without a warning

I ran to get my keys and drove the fastest I could

God, why did you have to live so far Into the woods

I pulled up as soon as I saw a glimpse of your place

That whole ride was nothing less than a race

But when I reached there, people were around, making a fuss

And I saw a cop, bringing out a lady with handcuffs

My mind went so dizzy and I could barely catch a breath

When I saw you lie there in a pool of blood, beaten to death.

A Little Longer

They ask me if I want to visit your place

I say yes, I miss being there

But it’s a lie I use too often.

I sit in the car all set to visit you

I am more nervous than excited

We start to drive and in no time

The car stops where it always has.

We reach there and I see you

I see you standing right where you always do

Near the stretched balcony

Wearing your brightest smile

Even when your world is collapsing.

I walk the stairs to you worrying you might go away

I run at my fastest pace to come see you

And yet when I reach there you aren’t standing there anymore

My heart breaks the same way again.

They come after me asking me why I was hurrying

And as always, I say, “Nothing, I was excited”.

They ask me if I’m okay and I tell them that I am

But they don’t know I see you

Walking across the rooms when I visit your place.

You enter the kitchen to get me water

But I already have enough running down my eyes by now

You sit beside me when they talk to me

You help me to not cry.

They ask me to make them my best tea

But I can never find the sugar and you know it

You stand right behind me, pointing where its kept.

“How come they don’t see you?”, I ask

You smile and say nothing.

“You know I am a mess without you”

And your smile fades away a little.

“They are not doing good”, I tell you

And you are almost about to shed a tear

But you don’t, because you’re not real.

“Please say something, talk to me!”

And you have started to go out of sight again

And it doesn’t take you long

To disappear in thin air

I wish you stayed a little longer

I wish you stayed forever.

My Apartment

I wake up to the noise of my neighbors’ pet

My pillow soaked up with my regrets

I look at the timeless clock on the wall

Another day of getting up another day to fall.

I dress myself up in the darkest silk

Fill up a glass of toned milk

I am not ready but I can’t be more

With my hands all shivery and eyes so sore.

I lock my door and step outside

I wave my hand to get a ride

But all I get are judging eyes

Sympathetic smiles and dreadful cries.

I finally get myself a taxi

Make myself comfortable in the backseat

But the driver keeps looking at me through the mirror

As if my face spells out terror.

I look at the sky and the building of my work place

The janitor looks at me and makes a face

And my nightmare starts all over

As I see the boss’s son climb out from his rover.

He doesn’t dare pay me a bare glance

I knew to myself I lost my chance

Of all the lessons I am yet to learn

The biggest is taught by the acid burn.

I walk right inside and a woman gasped

She says, “Oh Dear!” with her hands clasped

Only if you could hear my mind growl

Not only my heart, she broke my soul.

With a heavy heart I walk the stairs

People were staring but come on, who cares?

I put my bag across my seat

When I feel the land slip beneath my feet.

There you are, everyone’s prince charming

Your reaction to the incident is quite alarming

He wrecked my life and you wrecked my heart

Silly me, I thought I finally had a good start.

I swear I was walking down the road

With all the stress and all the work load

He came out of nowhere and held my hand

The minute I looked back I lost command.

He threw the whole bottle right at me

It didn’t take me long to fall to my knees

His job was done and he fled away

I think that’s all I remember from that day.

It took me a whole year to be able to come back

And seems like it was enough time for you to sack

All your promises you made out of love

But sadly, I am no more your little dove.

I squeeze my heart and gulp that feeling

My psychiatrist said that’s the only way of healing.

I think I understand, after all you are the boss’s pride

And a guy so handsome needs a fancy bride

It burns worse than the acid, but I’ll let you go

You no more belong to me, I know.

I pack my things and move outside

A child looked at me and started crying

And without second thought I knew it was time

My life was no more worth a dime.

I rushed straight to home and opened the cupboard

I looked in the mirror and in disgust I was covered

I hesitated for a second but took the pill

My dead body lays rotten in my apartment still.

This Legend

She walked down the aisle,

I walked down your heart

This legend is so vast

I don’t know where to start.

It began on the silliest note

More like a rom-com tragedy

You reading her the love letter you wrote,

But your eyes were locked with me.

We were strangers living too close to be called so

Used to meet in the park, walking our dogs

You were the handsome neighbor they called ‘cookie dough’,

And I, the cruel witch with the house in the fog.

We had unusual encounters, ones that people would never approve,

Our eyes searched for each other in the most uncanny moments

But the looks on our faces were so aloof,

Our bodies were the ones that went through the torment.

One time i saw you at the supermarket

Buying yourself cookies and juice

You stood behind me, my hand was the target,

That was when I knew you were desperate too.

You brushed my hand with the back of yours,

Of Course you were smart enough to call it a mistake

But your mistake seemed to be a failed detour,

As neither were you sorry nor did you hesitate.

We started seeing each other at the park,

The mornings for the dogs, the evenings for us

Even my dog liked you, at you he never barked,

And days you didn’t show up, he waited till the dusk.

Our unintended meetings became rendezvous

We started to talk, to laugh, even shout

The neighbours started to watch, there wasn’t much they could do

I’d say that was the time your wife began to doubt.

It was fueled the day we exchanged numbers

I promise I heard you yell form across the street

Talking to you somehow made this witch humble,

I started to seem happy and people started to greet.

But the day our tables turned was yet to come,

Your wife was out of town, took the dog along

That day in the park, i asked you your reason to come,

You looked me dead in the eye for so long.

When leaving, I asked you if you wanted to eat at Bran’s,

And you knew it took everything inside me to ask that

You took a moment to think, of course, you were a married man

But you dared not say no, couldn’t lose the only feather in your hat.

While on the way you suggest to go to my place,

“You praise your witch-craft a lot”, you say as you groan

I replied, “looks like I need to give you a taste”

I bet you felt the chills in your bones.

We reached my place, we took off our coats,

You praised the furniture, trying to make a conversation;

The way your eyes glittered, I could feel your dry throat

Oh! How I would feast on you if not for the obligations!

I wasn’t the best of cooks, but that day I put in my all,

I remember you praised it as if it was heaven you tasted

I sat there noticing your devilish eyes and cunning jaw

While you show regret for all the time you wasted.

While we talk at the dinner table, you slip a few words,

“My wife and I are more like an arrangement”, you spill out

“Explains why no kids, just a dog”, I purred

You grin at me as if you’d finish me in a draught.

An hour passed by, then another two passed away,

You get up saying it’s late, you wanted to leave

But I don’t know why your eyes screamed you wanted to stay,

I gathered all my courage to say, “why not stay for the eve?”

Your eyes shone brighter the moment I said it

I knew it was all the assurance you need;

You let go of the half open door and it clicked,

We both knew tonight we were doing the deed.

You came near me, hands still in the air unsure,

I touch your chest and you shiver under your skin

You were not waiting for consent anymore,

God, I still think of your beastly grin.

We made love till the morning, forgetting the rest,

But I could hear you thinking beneath the sheets

I gave you your time and space, staying silent at my best,

It was obvious, you were new in the game of cheats.

Next day my I was alone in the bed, a note on the table,

“I might be fond of witch-craft”, it read;

I kept it safe in my favorite book with a label,

Since then, it was your site I dread.

We were no longer the friends our neighbors thought we were,

We were two hungry wolves fulfilling our greed

Or maybe two lost souls seeking clarity in this world so blurr,

All I knew was, you were everything one could need.

I stopped showing up at the park, no more rendezvous

I didn’t respond to your hundred calls and even more texts;

I won’t lie, it was a state of guilt and blues,

But little’ did we know, what the world had for us next.

After a million tries you show up at my door,

I panic at your sight with a slight comfort of seeing you again

“She cheated on me, went to see someone in the name of a tour”,

I expected it to be heart-breaking but we sure didn’t feel any pain.

Only when you showed up, I realised I was dying,

I was longing to see you, to hold your hands

And I know I am wicked, but if I disagree I’d be lying

It was my life’s best sight, to see you remove that platinum band.

This time I walked down the aisle,

And I walked down your heart,

This legend is so vast

I don’t know where to start!